Shrove Tuesday on Dagobah
by Heliotrope-Housecat
Summary: It's Shrove Tuesday and Yoda instructs Luke on the correct way to make pancakes using the Force, but can the young Jedi flip the largest pancake of them all or will his training be a failure?


A/N: This is a short one-off comedy story, which I hope you find amusing. I would like to dedicate it to my good friend Ervefel, who helped me come up with the idea and should be given partial credit. R & R, but remember that I would prefer constructive criticism to flames, please. Thank you and enjoy – TP

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any of the people, locations or other 'stuff' associated with it. I also don't own Tesco Supermarket or Jif Lemon Juice. If I owned any of these I would be filthy, stinking rich and would probably not waste my time writing fan fiction (well, maybe not Jif lemon juice, but you get the picture!)

**Shrove Tuesday on Dagobah**

It was mid-morning on the swamp planet of Dagobah. Birds of various sizes sang to greet the day, various insects whistled and chirruped in the trees and the dragonsnake in the murky lakes purred and growled contentedly. Young Luke Skywalker sat perched on the edge of a large, mossy boulder, patiently awaiting the first lecture of the day from his tiny mentor. The small, elven form of Master Yoda shuffled forwards, using his gimer stick for much needed support. He twitched his ears serenely and raised his head to look at his student.

"Know you, what today is?" asked Yoda, pointing accusingly at Luke with his tri-fingered hand.

"It's Tuesday Master," replied Luke, looking puzzled.

"Tuesday, yes, but which Tuesday, hmm…" said Yoda, cryptically.

"Err… It's no-ones birthday… It's definitely not Christmas or anything… um… Tuesday… err… I don't know," mumbled Luke, thinking.

"Today, Shrove Tuesday is. Tomorrow, Ash Wednesday be. Very important day, today is," replied Yoda.

"Right," said Luke sarcastically, worried for his master's sanity. "I suppose you want me to give up something important to me for lent, thus displaying the need for patience and determination in a Jedi Knight."

"Hehehe! Wrong, Young one!" laughed Yoda, gleefully. "You, cookery must learn. Pancakes, we shall make!"

"But Master," whined Luke, "I've never made pancakes before. Until recently I couldn't even toast bread! That and I haven't had pancakes sine I was a little kid! What use will this be to my Jedi training? Why can't I just…"

"Patience!" interrupted Yoda. "For the Jedi it is time to eat pancakes too!"

"Yes Master."

"Now, to Tesco you must go. Jif lemon juice, you will buy."

"Jif lemon juice?" Luke frowned. This seemed an odd thing to put onto a dessert.

"With sugar on pancakes it goes. Tasted good, it does," explained Yoda.

"Can't I have maple syrup instead?" asked Luke.

"Not ready for syrup are you!" scolded Yoda.

"Yes Master," Luke sighed. It was going to be a very long day.

Later 

Luke had returned from the local Tesco and was now wearing a pink frilly apron that was too small for him. He was splattered in uncooked pancake batter and was coated from head-to-toe in a fine layer of plain flour.

Making the batter had been quite a spectacle. He had been a little over-enthusiastic with his whisking, so everything within a 10-metre radius was splashed with milk and lumpy cream-coloured goo. This included Master Yoda and Artoo-Detoo, neither of whom was very happy at being splattered in half mixed batter.

On the positive side, Master Yoda had finally allowed him to use the frying pan.

"Gently, the pan you must heat. Small amount of oil add, then swirl it around the pan you will," instructed Yoda. Luke poured nervously, conscious of his Master watching him, accidentally allowing a swamp of oil to wash into the pan where it sizzled dangerously.

"Small amount, said I! Hear you nothing of what I say? Remove some, you will!" scolded Yoda, frowning.

"Sorry Master," apologised Luke, mopping up the excess oil with some kitchen roll.

"Better it is," said Yoda, approvingly. "Now, a ladle of batter add."

Gaining confidence, Luke added the batter to the pan with a rather elegant flick of the wrist. This caused Artoo, who was watching the young Jedi cook from a safe distance, to whistle in wry amusement, possibly due the rather camp combination of pink aprons and girly wrist flicks.

"Master, how do I know when it needs flipping?" asked Luke.

"You will know when you are calm, at peace, passive," replied Yoda mystically. Luke nodded, not really understanding, prodding tentatively at the edges of the pancake with a plastic fish slice.

"When ready you feel, flip you must," instructed Yoda.

Luke waited another thirty seconds, shaking the pan to loosen the base. He flipped the pancake high into the air where it danced and twirled before coming to land as a gloopy blob on the frying pan.

"Unexpected, this is. And unfortunate," commented Yoda gravely, looking sadly at the sorry mess that was the pancake.

"Unfortunate that I can't cook?" snapped Luke, irritably.

"Unfortunate that you had to flip it. That incomplete was its baking!" said Yoda. "Worse than new Blue Peter presenter, are you."

"I'm sorry Master," apologised Luke. "I don't mean to fail."

"Make another, you will. Better, will this one be. Always hard to make perfect, the first pancake is."

That Evening 

Luke had finally mastered the art of pancake baking. Surrounded by small stacks of perfect pancakes in various sizes and thickness, Luke was now confident enough to make them whilst standing on his head – literally.

"Good pastry chef are you," observed Yoda impressed, as Luke swayed unsteadily upside down on his hands. He was starting to feel light headed from all the blood rushing to his head and he was using the Force to flip the pancakes.

"Try something else, we will," said Yoda. Luke looked up. Yoda was pointing at a gigantic frying pan that as at least as wide as an X-wing starfighter, if not wider. Luke fell over in shock, the pancake he was flipping flying out on control and landing on Artoo's Dome. He blatted annoyance and shook the dessert from his head with a quick flick of his servomotors.

"Master, making waffle sand stuff is one thing – this is completely different!" whined Luke, getting back to his feet only to stumble again as pins and needles set in.

"No – no different," scolded the little Jedi Master, brows furrowed. "Only different in your mind!" The tiny Yoda carried a large pyrex bowl of pancake batter over to the pre-heated pan and, with great difficulty due to the size and height difference, poured the batter in. He gave it a couple of minutes to cook.

"Ready now, it is," he said. "Flip it now, you must, or burn it will."

"I can't flip that!" said Luke. "It's huge!"

"Always with you what cannot be done," said Yoda, sagely. Luke looked disbelievingly at Yoda, then at the pancake, then back at Yoda.

"OK then," he sighed. "I'll give it a try…"

"Do, or do not. There is no try."

"Yes Master."

Luke extended his right arm and reached out with the Force. Using the unseen power, he grasped the pancake and tried in vain to lift its massive bulk from the pan. He attempted the flip repeatedly, but to no avail. The pancake was just too heavy. Giving up, he collapsed on the floor in exhaustion, shaking with the effort.

"I can't… I can't do it Master," he panted. "It's just too big!"

"Size matters not. Judge my culinary skills by my size, do you?" asked Yoda.

"I'm sorry, Master, but I'm just not that good a chef yet. I'm not that powerful," explained Luke. Yoda snorted disbelievingly.

"The Force is my ally, and a powerful ally it is. Like creates it, makes it grow. For life to exist, food it requires and the Force can help us there. Luminous desserts are pancakes, not just crude batter. You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you and me, the tree, the rock, yes, even between the pan and the pancake," lectured Yoda, while Luke listened. He didn't believe a word of it.

"You cook the impossible," he said, miserable.

And so, Yoda waddled up to the giant frying pan with palm raised and all three stubby digits splayed. He closed his large eyes in concentration and, using the Force, flipped the huge pancake in a way Luke had never seen before. Artoo tweeted in wonder and disbelief at the obvious bending of the laws of physics and Luke silently vowed never again to assume a culinary task was impossible.

"I don't believe it!" he gasped in awe.

"That is why you fail Home Economics," said Yoda.


End file.
